The thing about love is you can’t help who you’ve fallen for. 

Love after heartache. 

At times you find yourself wondering will they do what it takes to get you back, while secretly hoping the answer is yes. Questioning your worth, and simultaneously wondering “why do I put up with this”

Love after heartache is the most trying time on any “ship” floating in the sea of love. You are tough on what you would never put up with, until the tears of “am I worth it” caress your cheeks night after night. Cascading into pillow puddles, and the only one who can fix it, is the source of the ache. 

As I go through life and learn love, I realize anger has no place in the same room. The trying times of mistakes and apologies will never be obsolete, but the preparation for battle will determine the ability to come out together on the other side of the war. 

 Soldiers prepare for battle by packing bags of necessities and ammo to survive, carrying blueprints to the enemy camp, and going in strong knowing they will see their battle buddy on the other side. In love, the backpack is filled with memories, ammo of experiences, and everything you will need to survive the trying times. The blueprint is knowing the obstacles every “ship” will face, while the confidence of coming out the other side, is looking at your person and knowing without a shadow of doubt “you are for me”. There is no leaving, no other option. There is us, fighting, and winning the war.  The anger is always towards the enemy, a united front with the same goals. As I learn in love, I realize anger has no place in the same room. 

I was on a project that involved construction, and I can’t help but apply what I learned to my life experiences. My client wanted a store front, and we went in looking for a property close to what she wanted, around the same footage, location, etc. We began to scout and get quotes. To our surprise the cost of remodeling was almost as expensive as having something built. But she fell in love with a property that was sure to be a hefty remodeling project. I admired her for going after what she wanted, taking something so broken and putting in twice the effort, when starting new was an easier option. I learned two things from her, be strong enough to go after what you want. It may not look nice, but when you can visualize the outcome, that’s all that matters. In opposition, I also learned that starting new is closer than you think. I was sure the difference in pricing from an existing property to a brand new one would be so far off budget it would be laughable. But it was obtainable, doable if needed. 

If I can use my life as motivation, I want to make these two points. When your soul is tied, make sure you are always on the same side. You will cry, you will fight (healthy fights), counseling is a good option, pay attention to how they make you feel, and fill your life with moments. Fight for your love, even after heartache. The future you visualize is all that matters. And two, be brave enough to leave. This is of course the last resort, as I am the spokesperson of fighting for real love, but “you can’t pour from an empty vessel”.  If you are at a point of not even being able to pick yourself up, blaming yourself when you’ve done nothing, and finding yourself in a swarm of confusion. It may be time to realize that starting new is obtainable, doable if needed.

-Love After…